I woke up and realized that it was already Saturday.
Where had the busy week gone?
The week was surely NOT without its chaotic moments.
- A few points of overwhelming mommy guilt
- The occasional times of exhaustion and irritability
- Days overtaken by communication overload*
*NOTE TO SELF: Sending out 1,001 emails, means you will also get approximately 1,001 emailed replies back
But all that is behind me now, because it is Saturday morning – and my week’s to-do list is pretty much complete.
I hear myself solemnly promise that next week:
- I will be more caught up with my work.
- I will have more time to spend with my kids.
- I will make sure there is less stress, less overload and less guilt.
With these intentions swirling through my mind, mid-morning Saturday brings the realization that:
My to-do list will never be complete.
It can (and will) go on – endlessly…
A small panic starts to build as I begin to grasp that today is always followed by another day of unpredictability. And as the panic increases, I fight the internal (motherly?) urge to try and fix this – to somehow find a way to capture life’s unpredictable chaos and force completion of my long, seemingly never-ending list of to-dos.
~
Saturday afternoon promptly approaches. I make a silent compromise to at least work at filling my future chaos with things of importance – things that fulfill me and which enrich our family’s lives.
Because …
Today it is Saturday.
Yesterday seems like forever ago.
And tomorrow is just around the corner.
Time doesn’t slow down and soon this day will be just another memory, another
check-check-check
off my list.
~
Eventually, it comes time to lay Saturday to rest. As I lie in bed I again think about the week’s chaos – yet this time, surrounded by the darkness and relief of my impending rest. And instead of my endless days of work and exhaustion, what I slowly recall is:
Carousel rides and smiles at the park.
Baking brownies and playing with trucks in the dirt.
Breakfast dinners. (Complete with a glass or two of wine!)
And a toddler who might only babble when talking,
but who can belt pop songs with ease from the back of our car.
These memories had somehow been lost this morning amongst the guilt, exhaustion and chaos of the long work week. And as I drift closer to Sunday I think…
Maybe the week wasn’t so bad? Maybe, I’m not doing such a terrible job of “capturing the chaos” in my life after all?
Leave a Comment: Do you think sometimes we rewrite our memories according to our mood?
